[endriju]

Did you try http://www.openshift.org? The self-hosted version is basically what you described, at least for the JVM languages.

[skorecky]

I have tried it, but just don't hold up as well as Heroku. I still use and love Heroku, but would be nice to have a similar option I could host anywhere on my terms.

[jacques_chester]

Cloud Foundry. It runs on AWS, vSphere and OpenStack. Apache 2 license, IP belongs to an independent foundation, not a single vendor.

[tachion]

So you seem to actually worry about hosting and servers, despite you saying you do not ;)