[ta140604]

To you and other people in similar situations:

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

a community of (and for) people dealing with similar problems.

(Not diagnosing your mother, but, let's say, a lot of actions look familiar)

[hga]

Also check out this less well known disorder (did not become official because of unrelated political reasons): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadistic_personality_disorder

My mother isn't entirely like busterarm's, but I recognize plenty of similarities, maybe mine has more self-discipline.

[kawera]

Good call, this is an excelent community with some hearthbreaking stories. There is also a whole network of subreddits on the topic, some very active (lower right sidebar).