[estonian]

But getting someone's Facebook is less socially awkward than their email address. You can also remember them easier and communicate with them faster.

Most of the people I met this summer didn't have an American phone number so Facebook (or Whatsapp) was the only way to communicate with them.

[detaro]

> But getting someone's Facebook is less socially awkward than their email address.

Really depends on the setting. Quite a few people I know would be more comfortable sharing a mail address than their Facebook info, even if we ignore the percentage that doesn't even have Facebook.

(For quick messaging contacts the fragmentation of messengers is really annoying. I don't want 4-6 different messengers on my phone just to be prepared to communicate with everybody. It's really time for a push back to federation or at least proper multi-protocol clients)

[justizin]

>> But getting someone's Facebook is less socially awkward than their email address. >Really depends on the setting. Quite a few people I know would be more comfortable sharing a mail address than their Facebook info, even if we ignore the percentage that doesn't even have Facebook.

This is part of what's backwards about Facebook. Sometimes I've had a 5-15min conversation with someone at a bar and they're like, "Do you have Facebook?", and I'm like, "Give me your phone", and I will search for myself and send myself a friend request.

If I exchanged phone numbers or e-mail addresses with this person, it would be really odd IMO to ask the sort of questions to which answers are offered to me by facebook, and by its' algorithm, but _less_ odd to personally contact them IMO. So I'm kind of a wierd voyeur in basically a handful of strangers' lives and fairly rarely actually ever again meet up and do things with various people that seem to be a lot of fun to talk to when I meet them.

I've had a lot of interesting friendship circumstances arise, but also just spend a lot of time wondering who the fuck most of the people are, even on the new facebook. Even the people I decided to carry over, I don't know, it's a semi-random distribution based on how Facebook was already filtering my feed, I think. People I like, but I dunno.

It feels like Facebook has more influence over who I think about than I do at times, and I wonder if it isn't influenced by what relationships tell them things they can advertise based on or something.

[detaro]

Hadn't thought about that aspect, but that's of course right: a random mail address only gives you a way to contact someone, but not other context.

It's great if you have something specific you want to follow up on, otherwise it just gets filed away. Or can be used to give Facebook/Twitter/whatever else information the next day if you want to (after thinking about it). Mail addresses can be more anonymous and easier to dispose in that way, if you have clearly separated ones.

[simoncion]

> But getting someone's Facebook is less socially awkward than their email address.

I don't understand why this would be. Would you explain why -for your cohort- this is true?

[greedo]

I don't use FB at all for my work; though my coworkers can obviously look me up. I only use it for family, friends, and try to keep it sanitary. I don't want my coworkers knowing my private life, and Facebook makes it difficult to have discrete sharing amongst different "classes" of friends.

[lmm]

An email address feels more intimate - it's something a romantic partner would have but a friend wouldn't necessarily. And asking someone for an email address is asking them to spend thirty seconds spelling things out (particularly in a bar), and another thirty waiting for you to send them an email to confirm. Facebook is just a question of typing their name, which you already know - often it can autocomplete based on your network - and they get a notification if you've done it right without needing any extra step.

[simoncion]

I appreciate the reply, but I was rather interested in estonian's thoughts on the matter.

But, while we're here:

> Facebook is just a question of typing their name...

Many folks in my peer group used an (often oddly-spelled) nym when they created their Facebook account long, long ago. (Also, many folks in my peer group abandoned their FB account long ago, but that's another matter entirely. ;) )

> ...and another thirty [seconds] waiting for you to send them an email to confirm.

They way I've seen this handled is to either show the person how you spelt the email address, or have them wait for the "new email" notification to confirm that you did, indeed spell the address correctly.

Yet another way is to hand your conversation partner a business card.

[lmm]

Your cohort carries business cards? They seem so... old. And wouldn't they have your business email rather than your personal one?

[simoncion]

The minority of them do, yes. And they never carry work business cards[0]; these are personal "business" cards. (I guess the name is a bit of a misnomer in this case. ;) )

[0] Doing so would be really, really strange for anyone who wasn't in sales [1] (and even then, it would be a little strange).

[1] Or, I guess, one of the founders of a tiny startup.

[jschwartzi]

I feel like the typing/confirmation issue could be solved by adding a QR code generator to your email app, and having them scan the QR code on your phone to share details.

You already have your phone out, and they probably have to take theirs out to confirm, so it doesn't add anything that doesn't already exist. But this application of QR Codes saves typing in a good way.

[detaro]

Assuming the other person has a QR code reader app and knows how to use it.

And if you want their info vs giving them yours, then they also have to know how to get their address displayed as a code.

Technically no problem, in practice I wouldn't expect it to work.

[saryant]

Facebook used to have this feature but I can't find it anymore. I only found out about it after meeting someone in Tokyo and have never been able to find the feature since which leads me to wonder if it's geofenced.