[bagelwhiteoff]

This is a biased modern American perspective: if you're lonely or have no friends, you're probably depressed because you 'failed' in life.

For me, and many others, loneliness is a blessing that has helped me do things most ignore: exercising, reading about Philosophy, developing ventures,etc. Plus, I'm never 'bounded' to my social circle and have resided in 11 countries.

By the way, I look like an innate salesman. Always smiling, making jokes, building a network, etc. Still, I'd rather be on my own.

[huck_cussler]

I would argue that what you describe as loneliness is not loneliness, but being content to be alone.

[bagelwhiteoff]

I found out that my first language apparently doesn't make a distinction of it. I tried to find synonyms, but none was able to grasp such difference. That's fascinating.

[mirimir]

So your first language doesn't distinguish between "being alone" and "loneliness"? What is the word, if I may ask? Or at least, what is the emotional tone? Is it neutral, or negative?

[bagelwhiteoff]

The word is 'solitudine'. Wiki quote:

'In lingua inglese il concetto viene espresso con due differenti vocaboli, solitude e loneliness, che si riferiscono rispettivamente al piacere e al dolore provati in condizioni di esclusione'

'In English, the concept is expressed by two words, solitude and loneliness, which refer to pleasure and pain in the condition of exclusion.

[mirimir]

Thanks. I'm struck by the Wikipedia entry on the song "La solitudine" by Laura Pausini: "The lyrics to the Italian version of the song where are about a boy named Marco, who is separated from his girlfriend at the urging of his family and sent to live far away from her. The now former girlfriend makes an emotional and heartfelt plea, singing to him about the loneliness and pain they would feel without each other."[0] So that's clearly about feeling lonely, aka loneliness.

But the article goes on to say: "The English-language version of the song, adapted by Tim Rice, has a completely different meaning, and it doesn't contain any reference to Marco. Its lyrics are focused on the feelings of those who want to be alone in order to better understand themselves."

But what I get is that the Italian word "solitudine" is ambiguous, meaning both, in tension, with awareness at multiple levels. In English, one is forced to choose: solitude (chosen, positive) vs loneliness (imposed, negative). English probably takes after German in that, I'm guessing.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_solitudine

[anigbrowl]

In English you would say you are solitary, so you enjoy solitude (the condition of being alone). I do too! But when you are in a non-solitary environment (like a city) and you have difficulty in forming a social relationship despite an abundant supply of people, then you may feel lonely.

[FilterSweep]

I would agree with you, but [parent] touched on the media, and general American public perception that people simply cannot be content in being alone. Not only that, but they also conflate introversion with preferring solitude (not always true), or even worse, social ineptitude (even rarer).

I've also noticed that some of my friends who did just like being alone ran into most of their grief trying to reconcile this, as opposed to grieving being alone.

[icebraining]

Yeah, not all solitude is lonely.

[ehartsuyker]

> You can be quite content being alone. Loneliness is what happens when you feel socially isolated.

It seems like this was accounted for.