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by tomhoward 3949 days ago
I can attest to this. In the past few years I've watched two close friends destroy their lives through addictions to alcohol and drugs. One of them died recently after years of severe alcoholism. The other is now in prison for drug-related offences.

I recall with fondness and sadness, both of them at their best... kind, generous, witty, intelligent; highly capable in their careers and loving and supportive to their families and close friends.

But each of them had ways in which they didn't quite fit in, and didn't always get the returns for the efforts they put in to try to achieve what they wanted in life, and as their frustrations grew, their self-destructive behaviours escalated, and the key support structures in life - most crucially their jobs and relationships - began to fall away.

But it was absolutely not the substance abuse issues that came first; in both cases that happened after the heavy knocks of life took their toll.

From observing these stories, I've become painfully aware that society just isn't very good at equipping people to understand why and how they're going wrong in life and how they can correct and achieve happiness and fulfilment. The support services that do exist, like therapy, AA, rehab etc, only become available when the problem is already entrenched and that much harder to turn around. I learned this when I recognised that I was starting to head down the wrong path in life and sought help before it got out of control, but the response was generally something like "you're pretty fine, don't waste our time".

I did end up finding an effective way of getting my life on track, and things are now going very well for me. I hope to live to see a time when it's much easier for far more people in the world to recognise their own failings and risk factors before they get out of control and find a better path before it's too late, and I'll be doing what I can to contribute to that cause.

2 comments

Thanks for writing this. It roughly describes my own experiences. I managed to pull out of my own spiral primarily because the love of my life didn't leave my side, and because I continued to feel hope and the possibility for change. And I worked my butt off to get out of the hole.

The hopelessness and loneliness and anxiety came first, though. Heavy knocks of life, indeed.

If you feel comfortable sharing it, how did you get your life back on track?