[westoncb]

>... what made you go from thinking "this was you" to thinking another lifestyle could make you happier, which lifestyle? Why?

There are a lot of things that have gone into that question. I would say the biggest thing was that I became aware of the fact that I was always 'in my head' instead of having a more direct interaction with people/environment, and realizing (from a number of sources, but importantly, through meditation) that being not 'in your head'—direct interaction with things—is a major part of feeling content or satisfied (as well as being effective in... most domains). Makes sense if you think about it: you think when you are trying to change something; if nothing needs changing, you don't think and you're content.

Now I'm looking for a balance with social interaction, physical activity, and intellectual work. Since I've been unable to earn money from my own projects, I am giving them up to just do a normal 40hrs/week kind of programming job: if I try to do the job and the projects, there's no time for the balance I want.

After a few years I may get a job that's more physical/social and return to my projects, but for now I need to catch up on finances, and programming is the only way I know how.

Edit: another way of saying the above: anxiety/depression became a problem, and the balance I describe seems to be a major part of the solution.

[ioeu]

I can relate to what you're describing, thanks for sharing.

Some part of me wants to just live in solitude with little or no social interaction at all, but I deliberately avoid it since my rational side tells me I'll end up depressed.

I've been told more than once I should look into meditation, do you know of a good way to start?

[westoncb]

> Some part of me wants to just live in solitude with little or no social interaction at all, but I deliberately avoid it since my rational side tells me I'll end up depressed.

Yep! That's the struggle.

This guy has a pretty nice intro, with a quick 10 minute or so practice you can do: https://youtu.be/3Uqoxo_jPXQ?t=3m33s

Then there's this book which works pretty well as an intro because it's a collection of diverse perspectives, from different people, on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Beginners-Guide-Meditation-Inspiration...

Alan Watts is also generally pretty good—can find talks from him on youtube, and he's written many books.

[ioeu]

Thanks! I'll hopefully have a look, at some point.