Advice is fine and it's interesting to hear about one person's success, but you're overstating your opinions. Things like "I cannot over emphasize the importance of this question", if written by someone reviewing applications, would be really valuable insight. But from an applicant (n=1), even a successful one, seems quite baseless.
I mean I stated that at the top... I've read a decent number of the successful apps. I'm not going to write an essay where I don't give my strong opinions. I can only write from my viewpoint...