> This is a very appealing prospect. Like most folks I know, the barrage of emails is a vexing toad squatting on my life

An autoreplying parrot might seem like an attractive solution to email barrage ... until you realise it generates email barrage.

"Traveller's Rest" (1965) by David I. Masson. https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/travellers-rest/