> As I often do nowadays, I outsourced the most important decision of my year—where to move—to ChatGPT

Laughed at this part. Living in Canada myself I was able to relate to many points there.

> At this rate, I’d save $900 a month and retire in 111 years

That’s 120 million dollars with a 6% real return.

> buys a $7 oat milk latte

Well no wonder you're poor. If you bought an espresso machine it would pay for itself in less than a month.